happy bloggaversary!

Here it is people. One full year of truly amazing blog posts. One full year of Love Is A Piano.

We laughed, we cried. We wrote nasty comments. In celebration, I ask you to leave me a nice one for the occasion :).

And for my part of the celebration, I present this special post.

Why Saint John Sucks
A Suckumentary By Katelyn Andrews and Maria Lamprea

While waiting for Saint John Idol to start the other day, we had a fabulous idea. Why not go around and take pictures with our trusty cameras of why we hate our city with a fiery passion that consumes our souls? Sounds like fun, non?

So here they are, actual proof that living in our city shoud be considered inhumain.

We have such amazing scenery, no? Don't you just want to live here, wake up every morning to the scent of seaweed and toxic waste and look out your window to see industrialism at it's best too? Cus I know I sure love it.














Our engineers must have been geniuses in their time. But no, seriously, every structure in this city is boring and everyday. Like, oh my god, a bridge... that goes over a river. (Actually, it's the reversing falls... something amazing or something like that but who really wants to see it anyways?)














There is no 'Saint John Centre', (Note, they spelt Centre in French...) There is no Saint John City. Hell, we don't even say 'downtown' because it sounds so damn ridiculous.














Our folliage is truly remarkable eh? Actually, it surprises the hell outta me that even a little flower can grow in a place that endures 8 months of winter... Go flower power!















There are two many ways to get out of Saint John, and not enough ways to make people want to stay here.

Also, if you were having a bad day, do you know how easy it would be to jump off that bridge, roll onto the tracks and get hit by a passing by train? EASY I TELL YOU!














*Cough*Cough* Can you say lung cancer? Or asthma? Whichever is easier. For real though, the ammount of pollution we distribute into the air is disgusting. Again, here's where the industrialism comes into play. No one wants to live here but everyone wants to built a new power plant or refinery or goddamned call centre here.














We have such an abundance of artistes eh? I would call this very post modern! Cus you know, everyone in Saint John is so busy being such a tough-ass g-unit that they obviously hold no regard for the police force.














We litter more then we clean or recycle.














More than half of the population is overweight. Making Saint John Canada's fattest city. And Making the numerous McDonald's a second home for most citizens.














We think we're the next Hollywood. Which I'm sorry to say, but there is no way in hell. Like, what was the point of this sign? Seriously? Half the time the lights on it are burnt out. It's the but end of a lot of jokes and do you really think the tourists appreciate the mockery even more of having picked such a terrible place to come visit?

No.














We're a tad ilitterate.. wait, illeterate... no wait, illitraeta?














We're frigging lazy. Like seriously, is the only point of a porta-potty in the middle of the bridge just to make a place to go to the bathroom betwen McDonald's binges?














This is our idea of a mountain. No joke. Forget the Rocky Moutains here. That's (^) our Rocky Mountains.

All in all, Saint John is so damn awful that we grew tired of taking pictures of what makes it suck. Actually, we took one more.

While we were resting from the pure fatigue of it all, Maria, in an act of bravery, decided that it was all just too much for her and that she would rather be hit by a train then live in Saint John a minute longer.














How would you like to live in a city that caused you to contemplate suicide like poor Maria here?
Saint John, and it's overwieght, rude, illiteryate residents need your help! If you think Saint John sucks, or would just like to tell me how much you've loved my blog over the past year, the leave a comment below!

Thank you all!

Expect a post by the middle of next week, entitled; Nova Scotia Company Family Vacation: A Horror Story, complete with real photos!