Thursday Morning Rant

I hate my science teacher.

That's really the only way to put it. I can't even stand looking at his stupid shell-shocked expression every damned morning. He is the biggest idiot I have ever met in my entire human being. How he got his teaching degree beats the hell outta me. I bet he just got hired off the streets during a teaching shortage, seeing how we're short-staffed as this is Canada.

Anyways, it's 8:23, and I was due to walk out the door exactly one minute ago to catch the 8:30 North End bus. But I'm not going to. Why, Do you ask? BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT!!! And my Mom's damn tired of hearing about him too. She says that the whole class as a group should go to the Principle to bring it to thier attention, but secretly I think that he and The Devil (M. Bedard.) are screw-buddies. I mean, good lord, how many times has he sent us all to the office just for talking like two words in english!? Mon dieu! Pas l'Anglais! Ca c'est dégoutant! Notre Langue premier? Ah, le terreur! AARRRRGGGG!!!

I mean, everything he teaches us, he contradicts not even seconds later. And everytime anyone asks a question, he only answers it with another.

Yesterday we came up with the plan to kidnap him and hold him hostage until our demands, a new science teacher, were met. And in the meantime, we could tie him up and beat him with leather belts while jumping on the trampoline, so that everytime we jumped, he'd come flying up in the air, and then we could hit him again! :>

I have a very strange imagination.

I think his main problems are :

a) He thinks just because he plays guitar at some bar for extra cash that that qualifies him to teach us gr. ten science.
b) He's afraid Gregor could take over and teach the class with flying colors, win an award, and have us all pass with high honors, while still being a funnier and smarter teacher.
c) He's afraid that we don't respect him. Everytime I get in trouble for anything, he hauls my ass out into the hall and gives me some damn lecture about how I'm supposed to show him respect or some sort of nonsense like that.

This is how one of our conversations actually went: (It really was in English too, because he 'can't talk French when he's mad.')
M. Fag: Katelyn, what step are you on for talking English already?
Lil Angel: I'm on step three, but it's not fair, because I've been on that step since November and I think I'm making an improvement!
M. F: No, that is not so. I've been watching you the whole class, bcause I knew I heard English coming from your side of the class, and it was you, talking it the whole period!
Lil A: Me?! You must be mistaken :>!
M. F: No, I was not, Like I said, I watched you the whole period.
Lil A: Well, Mr Fag, maybe if you tried harder to teach the class instead ofspending all the period watching me, I'd be so interested with the lesson that I wouldn't be talking English, or even talking at all for that matter!
M. F: You're not respectful enough to your teachers! Don't you cut that attitude with me! You're to respect me!
Lil A: Hey, if you want the respect of your students, you have to give them the same and treat us as people instead of the 'things' you are paid to teach.
M. F: Leave Katelyn, I think you've been rude enough for today.

Gee! I told him eh? Here's another:

Me, Jessy and Tori have been standing at the back of the classroom before first period even has started laughing our asses off over a prom dress add that states that the dress is a size 18... :> still makes me smile. The three of us are laughing and talking about how we should call, wear it to prom, and then during dinner, lift up the skirts and let out all of these little children to eat all the food, (All in English, mind you.) When M. Fag comes over and goes:

M. Fag: Katelyn, you're talking English, get out.
Lil Angel: No!
M. F: Get out!
Lil A: I wasn't the only one talking! Do you think I'm some sort of psycho who just talks to myself all damned day? No! You're a big bully to me and you pick on me, and you know it! I'm not leaving till you send the other ones out too.
M. F: Jessy, Tori, come out too. We're all going to visit The Devil.
Lil A, Tori and Jessy: NOOO!
After he brought us up through these stairs into the office, and The Devil coulnd't see us, he brought us back to class and acted like nothing had happened, but I was secretly hatching a plan. I was an angel the whole class! I asked questions and sat up straight and took notes and did what I was told with a happy smile! (For once!)

After class I went up to him and said:
Lil Angel: I'd like to apoligise for my actions this morning. I guess I forgot what was more important, my social life, or good grades.
M. Fag: That's very mature of you, but you still have to go see The Devil.
Lil A: (Tear rolls down cheek) Please! Please not The Devil! He scares me! Please! I promise it won't happen again!
M. F: (clearly uncomfortable...) Ahhhh.... Don't cry?
Lil A: Please, don't blame Jessy or Tori, they were only following my bad example. I guess I just wanted everyone to think that I was cool, so I tried to act all bad as a show.
M. F: (still uncomfortable...) Ahhh... it's ok? (places a pervy hand on my shoulder...)
Lil A: Uhhh... (takes a step back in goodtime.) It won't happen again M. Fag, I swear!
M. F: Ok, But this is your last chance! Warn the others! Last chance!
Lil A: Yup, I got you. Last chance, warn others, you're a faggot, I've got you!

I know how to work him like a charm. Few fake tears there, sad smile here. I'm a pro at this teacher-manipulating thing.

So, I suppose If we can't get a new one, we can just try our hardest to make this one go crazy! Although I still like the idea of the belts :)

Well, it's nine o'clock now, I should most likely get ready to go to school soon. Those miserable suckers are starting science now! Hahahahaha Muahahahahaha!