Damn Practical

It's those fatal words she says to me as she gets ready to go out tonight.

While sucking in her stomach and choosing out jeans, she looks over, and ever-so-non-chalant, says, "Do you think this old body of mine could handle another baby?"

I'm shocked, and most, utterly disgusted. My mouth hangs open, as in my head I try to remember mom; twenty-six, and pregnant with Lissa.

As I catch my breath, I manage to spit out, "Don't ever say that again!"

"What? Woman older then my age are having babies all the time now!"

"Yea, and then those babies are stuck with old moms!"

"I'm not old."

"But you will be."

"I'm not saying I'm going to Katelyn, but mind you, if the chance presents itself, I wouldn't mind another child."

"With Blair, right?"

"Who else would I be popping babies out with?"

"It's great how you just act like it's no biggie Mom. No biggie, just another child to add to the already screwed up enough Andrews Family! We aren't even really Andrews, we're like Doyle, but not! Maybe like Morris? No, Aucoin? Will we be Morely now that you have your whole future planned out with Blair?"

"This sounds like that talk I had to have with you when you were four," Mom mumbles as she lies on the bed, zippering up her jeans. "You know, in the eighties, if you had to lie down to do up your jeans, then they were the right size, but if you could do them up standing up, they were too big."

"Thanks for that tidbit of information."

"Just like I can love you and lissa, I can love another child. And it won't matter that much anyways. By the time I have another baby, you'll be off and gone."

"Well, that's what I said when you asked me if I thought Blair would make a good stepdad. I said it wouldn't matter because I'm not going to be around much longer anyways and you told me not to be ridiculous, but it's ok when it comes to a possible half-sibling?"

"Yeah Kate. Because you're outlook on life sucks so much and your outlook and everything does, the only time you're ever going to be happy is when you're gone off to school and out of my life forever, never looking back to talk to me again, right?"

"God only hopes," I mumble as I peel the nail polish off my nails.

"And I'm just going to pay for you to get there and for everything else too! But you'll be damn glad to be rid of me and everyone, right? Because everything and everyone make you miserable Katelyn. You are a miserable, selfish, human being."

Then she slams the door to the bathroom, unable to hear my last few remarks in response to her.

Another baby? Over my dead body. No spawn of Blair-Satan will cross the threshold to my house while I'm alive. And that is not being selfish, that's just being damn practical.