Well, Maybe Being Un-Active Has It's Peaks.

I'm unactive.

I said it. I can admit it. I'm not one of those people who try and classify their extra-curricular activities as being active. Just because you take yoga or like Horseback riding doesn't mean that you're in shape.

I've always been the unactive sort. Sat on the sidelines in gym, didn't know what way to run when playing baseball, would rather not be involved in anything then to give up any of my free time.

It's kind of the way it's been going with the musical. I want to be part of it so bad, but that's where my unactiveness comes in. See, when it said, "musical" I heard the word music and thought, "Singing, now there's something i can do. Now i can be involved in some activity!" But noooo. Damn Musical had to go and get all dance-y on my unactive ass.

O.k. news flash people, i can't dance. I mean i can do that whole dancing at like a high school dance thing, it's pretty basic. You just kind of...move...with the music. But actual dancing?! God. I swear, if i was being held hostage, in the Hymalayas, against my will, with wild ninja's with large harpoons, threatening to kill me, and they said, "We'll let you go unharmed if you give us a little dance, but if you don't WE'LL KILL YOU." ...I don't think I'd be able to do it.

Well, maybe some of that would be because i'd be scared shitless, but i just can't dance. Our damn coreographer makes the most ridiculous moves and as im prancing around on stage, forgetting how to do a box step and stumbling over and toes i feel about as graceful as a large hippopotamus that just ate the fucking CN tower.

So anyways, this is my formal excuse for why i've missed two practises this week. "I can't dance." But i'm starting to think that the real reason is because I'm inactive and my fucking blob of a body has gotten too damn used to it.

I'm not calling myself fat or anything, don't get me wrong. But i mean, the thought of staying after school and moving around just about kills me. All i want to do is come home, change into my pj's, sit down in front of the damn computer and eat.

This is the case today. No word of a lie, right now i sit in front of my computer, in silk duckie pj's, with a big bottle of pepsi, a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of fluff. This is how i write. I can't sit here in front of a blank screen and think of anything if i'm not "fueled" properly.

Chris says to me:

" what is your blog about today? "

.xXx. kÄtéLyÑ love's Mat .xXx. She's Such A Fortunate Fool. says:

" about how im unactive lol. and i had already stared it before you made fun of me so don't think you inspired me or anything. "

Chris says:

" lol thats kinda funny ur writing about how ur unactive while in front of a computer eating a jar of marshmellow fluff "

I don't find it funny. Ironic, yes. Funny, no. What if i actually have a condition?
I mean it. I don't like being involved in things. Maybe I'm stuck in a life long rut. And the sad/disturbing part is, I like it.