The Grudge Review.

I'll tell you right now, the only good parts of this movie weren't on screen.

O.k, so movie starts out right, old man standing on balcony. His way-too-good-looking-for-this-old-geezer wife asks him what's wrong, to which he replies by jumping off the fucking like tenth floor.

Next scene. Some exchange student chick and her Bf. He seems italian and the funny thing about him was sometimes he had an accent and sometimes he didn't Plus he had NO emotion what's so ever. They start going at it, I don't even know the point of this.

Ok, Now some chinese girl (yoko) is at some white old ladies house supposedly being her acre taker. The old lady is extremely on-edge and seems a bit psycho. The chinese one is talking on the phone, thne she goes upstairs after hearing noises or something and gets pulled up into the attic by hands that came out of NOWHERES! (minor scary part.)

Cuts back to Exchange chick. She's at a care centre and being told she has to take Yoko's place sitting the old lady because she "didn't show up today" Little do they know...

Old lady seems still crazy, Exchange chick hears noises upstairs, follows them into a room, sees a closet door, taped, yes TAPED shut. Meowing and scratching noises are coming from inside. In an act of STUPIDITY she opens the door. It's dark and all she sees is a journal. Then she hears a meowing noise. It's a damn kid with CRAZY eyes sitting there with a cat. She screams, runs downstairs, blah blah blah blah.

"Gonichiwa, Wakarimasa (name)" (I think that's it.)

By the way this movie takes pleace in Tokyo, so there is subtitles! YES!

Ok, now we have some random flash back, that you can't even tell is a flash back until the end. Some chinese real-estate agent is showing the old lady and a man and two ladies the house that the cat part is in. The old lady dissapears, man and women go to look for her. Somehow the chinese real estate agent hears water in the bathroom. He goes in to investigate, and OH NO! Get's pulled in by imaginary hands! He escapes, but with a chunk of hair!!

The people say they will take the house, then something else happens, i forget. The man's wife somehow finds the kid and he comes home to find her in a bed, the kid pops out and scares the life (literally) out of the wife. She's dead.

Flashforward. Someone finds the exchange chick sitting there PETRIFIED. (I think this is what happens) Then investigators come in, they question the employer for the care centre and find out yoko is missing too. The chinese man finds attic, inside he finds a dead man and woman, the husband and wife from last scene. Then something with the answering machine, they find a message from the husband's sister, the old lady'd daughter.

Flashback (AGAIN!) It's the sister, leaving the message. She's the last one at sme office building. She hears a noise, gets freaked out and leaves, Makes her way to the stairs, WHY STAIRS?! As she's going down, something freaky happens with the lights, blah blah blah, she runs out to the security room, talks a bit of chinese, the security gaurd runs off. She watches him on the screen, he checks out the stairs, then leaves around the corner. As she watches the lgiths dim and something seeps out from under the closet door, blah blah blah (A la Ring) She runs away, goes home. Gets freaked out there too, in the end i don't know what happens to her. She seems a pointless character.

Investigators. In a hospital room with exchange student. She seems "distressed" They tell her about the bodies. Then somehow the investigator tells her about a few years ago, there being a case there where a man and a woman (chinese) were found dead in the same house. Shows a picture he found in the house. It's the little boy in the picture with them. Then he tells some gay "legend" about how in chinese when an awful crime is commited, the emotion satys in the house, killing everything or something gay. Then he says three of his friends died investigatiing that house last time or something.

Exchange student investigates online. Finds some papers about the crimes. Somehow on the same page there's a story about a man jumping off a tenth florr balcony (scene one) She decides they have something in commen.

Goes to visit wife. Wife shows her some pictures. Exchange chick notices that in every picture there's a woman, the same one every time. (STOCKER!)

Goes home, can't find boyfriend with fake accent. There's a message. It's him saying he's gone to the haunted house cus he thnks she's there or somehting. She takes off running to fine him.

When she gets there it's another flashback, except she's in it this time watching it happen. It's the man who jumped off the balcony. We find out he was a teacher of the first woman who killed herself. He's there because he wants to talk to the woman because she sends him a letter like every day. She watches as he talks to the son, who won't say where the parents are. Then somehow he gets drawn to the attic too, where the dead body of the chinese lady falls out on him. He finds diary of hers that says pretty much that she's in love with the suicide guy but he doesn't know she exits.

Another flashback. Now it's the night she died. Husband found the journal, kills her by drowning her, then hangs himself. The suicide teacher finds him hanging in a bedroom, and somehow he keeps bouncing off the wall.

Then something happens. not quite sure, girl sets house on fire.

Hospital. Girl lives boyfriend dies. She's looking at his body when she hears the throat noise that signifies that the girl is near. She turns, AH! It's her.

FRIGGIN GAYEST MOVIE EVER! Only made good by Levi and Mike's add ins. Mike decides that everytime there's subtitles he's going to read them outloud REALLY loud. and if anyone says anything he's going to say, "I would stop, but my friend is blind," (Levi.) Then he starts making things up and doing accents. While Levi, the little pot-head starts making the most random comments on everything.

We stayed for the credits, and the damn movie actually has a SOUNDTRACK! The only sounds we heard the whole movie was an annoying violin, a throat noise that sounds like a sheep and a high pitched squeeling, sometimes a meow.

Worst movie, waste of money. Made better by Levi's dance though. That was classic.