Not Anymore.

I used to walk in the rain, just to feel it drop down on me. Just to smell the scent of rain. Just to feel insignificant. I used to bake cookies. Every weekend, to fill the house up with the sweet smell of chocolate. To have Mom and Liss come home to fresh baking. I used to paint picutres, do artwork, draw. All things to express myself. Beautiful colors swirled onto paper and canvas that described my every desire. I used to redecorate my room every month or so, to forget the things that had happened. To start again new, fresh, to make things seem like a new start. I used to catch the bus to school in the mornings. Walk back through the aisles saying hi to people i knew along the way. Reach the back and take my earned seat. I used to open my locker. Same code every day. 43-25-43 for threee years. Inside were photos of me, friends, family. Stickers, old lunches, text books that i had forgot i had and had to pay for. I used to be young. Watch the Big Comfy Couch. Build forts, enjoy the park. Play on playgrounds for no reason, chase the wind and leaves. I used to be happy. My life had so much meaning to it. I had a family that cared so much about me and i was secure, even though i was constantly moving and leaving behind things, i was happy. What happened to everything? When did it all fall down? Why didn't i notice that the simple things that made me soo happy are things i would never think of doing again? I wish i could walk in the rain one last time, with my yellow rubber boots. I was young. Not anymore.